|v Ideals are for growing|
|v Story: 'Close by and Distant'|
|v My ideal is for exploring feelings and values creatively|
The story in review:
The interpret- and expansion-, self governing- and consistency functions
|v How do I deal with these things now?|
Ideals are for growing
Most people have their ideals. They direct themselves to things of importance to them
but of which it does not matter in the first instance whether they can be put into effect.
It can be somebody's ideal to comprehend connectedness. In this way it is my ideal to feel
connected to somebody, be it only for a short time, and to understand something of our
both being different. That is what I look for from the start. From the first beginning,
attachment to people has been an essential and subjective need of mine. I think that I
endlessly assailed my mother with questions, that I asked for her attention and warm
nearness incessantly. Ad nauseam for her but never tiring for me.
Close by and Distant
"On the day that my father had died I was sitting in my room by myself crying. I hoped that mother would still come to me and would tell me that she was no longer angry with me. This did not happen.
When I came home from school at a quarter past twelve in the afternoon and came running up the stairs I was not allowed into the sick-room. Father had died. He had been sick for a long time. After two severe operations in 1944 he had caught tuberculosis. The days and weeks before he died I had been sitting at his bedside in the little spare room. He wanted somebody with him and I was the only one who could be with him. I did not have too much homework, as compared to my older brother. I was eleven years old. We listened to the radio together. I still remember some episodes of a radio play. If the play ended before nine-thirty, mother allowed me to stay up till then. At times he said something in connection with what was on the radio. This all happened in the fall of 1946 and the electric heater was on. Some time before he died he had called all of us together and said his farewells. I do not remember what he said to the others, only that he astonished me by asking me to promise to take good care of mother.
After supper mother, John and me and my little brother Wil and sister Lia were together
in the living room. It then sank in that now and never again would I be able to go and sit
with him. I think I started to cry. Perhaps it was my crying, but in any case something
happened that gave cause to me being sent away. The wording was: 'You can't grieve as much
as we do. We are grieving. You could sit with daddy all the time while we could not. Get
out of our sight.' I went up to my room. It was cold."
My ideal is for exploring feelings and values creatively
With father's death his function for my life had ended, at least in as far as his
physical presence was concerned. He meant everything to me, I loved him and he clearly
loved me. He quite often blindly stood up for me against my brother. I know he had a
strong feeling for justice but apparently he did not always check the facts in the heat of
the moment! When he was no longer there to run to, as I always did, it is true that I felt
alone and deserted but he always remained my anchor. I felt and knew that he had loved me
The story in review
|Skip this part just now?|
|My process of opening which follows the introvert Scorpio pattern has been
discussed, not only in earlier parts of the story-line, in ZZZine
#5. Since that approach has been used several times now this seems to be the right
moment to apply a new technique. In ZZZine #16 I have announced
this possibility which shall be worked out in full in ZZZine #19.
This method, in short, starts from the idea that every human ability develops according to
its own process. These characteristics and processes stand, that goes without saying, not
disconnected but they are interwoven and form a unity. We can observe the process of every
factor in the birth chart separately and will always find therein again all other factors
in different phases, having other functions as a consequence. We are literally choosing a
In the texts given below we will look at the functions of interpreting, of self governing and of consistency in my birth chart, together with the tools in the form of the properties with which they make aspects. For the purpose of comparison you will find, whenever you move the cursor over the picture of the function at hand, the picture of the process of the function of opening or of my initiatives toward the environment.
Concise descriptions relevant to the story
Terms and symbols
Interpreting one's own experiences
The significance of Jupiter lies in the exploration of one's personal aim, in growth and recovery. It is the starting point and end of the process of finding oneself ideals, of believing in possibilities, of interpreting events against either an adopted or one's personal framework of goals, of applying one's suppleness and resilience.
The map of the process of my approach to the world (bring the cursor over the picture) shows that I can apply my expansion and interpret function actively in the first phase of that process. The aspects of the interpret function connect it with other functions in the last four phases of its own process. In short this amounts to the fact that, in interplay with these four functions, I initiate essential experiences with which can be worked on the objectification of the personal aim, therefore of meaning, in those last phases.
Jupiter or the expansion and interpret function:
|- The goal of this process is to be concise and practical. After all I
use the introvert Scorpio pattern (see the pattern-line) for this
extrovert function. My need to interpret my experiences in the environment, to grow
and to recover, are of an inquiring character.
||- JUPITER in the 1st phase in SCORPIO, starting point and end of the process of interpreting, growth and re-establishment, is connected with other functions via the following aspects:|
|The function of opening, the relation with the environment which is
seeking the essential thing, is situated in the background, in the solution phase of the
expansion and interpret function. Conversely, the expansion and interpret
function is situated in the first phase of the function of opening and can easily be
expressed. Searching for the heart of the matter is the goal which both functions have in
The function of self governing and the function of consistency are within the interpreting-process
occupied with gathering structured knowledge and trying to find an equivalent footing
|The ASCENDANT in this process of interpreting experiences is located in SCORPIO
in the 12th phase (and is not related with Jupiter).
Controling my individualization myself
The Sun, the symbol of self-government in order to accomplish individuality (in the sense of: undivided twofoldedness), as beginning and object of the process of wanting to control the development of the essentially singular in unity with one's environment. In the present time every person wants to realize himself and create a personal place in his environment.
The map of the process of my approach of the world (bring the cursor over the picture)
indicates that the symbol of self governing, a person's most important quality
really, is under considerable pressure from difficult aspects with three important
functions. The aspects of the self governing function connect it with functions in the
phases one, three and six of its own process. In short it amounts to the fact that, in
interplay with these three functions, internally I myself work on the development of my
individuality by applying self-government.
The Sun or the function of self governing:
|- The goal of this process is to be consistent. After all for this
extrovert function I use the introvert Capricorn pattern (see the pattern-line).
My need to govern myself has a detached, discreet, and step by step way of structuring:
The relation with the outside world, necessary to gain experiences, is in this case a
function of the 10th phase: testing the practicability and consistency of my own
controlling measures. It makes use of the introvert Scorpio pattern and thus initiates in
a concise and practical manner, not particularly tactful but rather provocative unless
Jupiter (expansion and interpretation) is activated.
|- The SUN in the 1st phase in CAPRICORN,
point of beginning and end of the process of self-government in order to accomplish
is connected with other functions via the following aspects:
Consistently giving meaning and structure
The significance of Saturn concerns giving the care and responsibility for oneself a realistic form. In a (developmental) psychological sense that implies a determining and practicing of one's own limits and conquering one's fears which usually originate from youth. This striving for consistency and maturity is done by steering a course in time, by applying the appropriate 'built-in' security mechanism by going step by step and either tightening or easing off the reins. The objective here is of the utmost importance for the person, here one looks for the highest possible perfection of oneself.
The map of the process of my approach of the world (bring the cursor over the picture)
indicates that this quality occupies an important place because of difficult aspects with
three of the most important functions. The aspects connect the function of consistency
with functions in the phases twelve, three, five and six of its own process. In short, it
amounts to the fact that I, in interaction with five functions, internally and in the
background, discreetly look for ways to give meaning to my life and try to realize that
Saturn or the function of consistency:
|- The goal of this process is to attain equivalence. For this introvert
function I use after all the extrovert Aquarius pattern (discussed in the pattern-line). The need to be consistent has the character of
innovation and crossing boundaries:
The openingprocess, the relation with the environment which is seeking the essential
thing, is in this case a function of the 9th phase: exploring more possibilities for
growth, signification, limitation and consistency. It uses the introvert Scorpio
pattern and thus starts with concise and practical initiatives, not particularly tactful
but rather provocative, while with Jupiter (expansion and interpretation) I can tell
|- SATURN in the 1st phase in AQUARIUS,
starting point and end of the process of consistency, of signification and limitation, is
connected with other functions via the following aspects:
How do I deal with these things now?