|v Story: 'Mother's genes?'|
|v The story in review|
|v How do I deal with these things now?|
You need not know whether it's in your genes in order to work with them. Mother loved to tell her stories, especially when she felt at ease. We teased her when she started with 'Yes, John has a strong skull. His birth was ...' or with 'When arriving in München ...' or 'The worst thing was when the whole of Breda had to flee ... I didn't even have a clean handkerchief with me ...'. We used to say 'Yes Mum, that is story number one from the Johnny series', 'That is number six from your boarding-school series', 'You told that before Mum, It's number 2 from your travels-series', or 'Are you sure it was aunt Jeanie, Mum?'. These were peaceful moments.
One day, I must have been about eighteen, I went to see our family doctor. Without any apparent reason he said: 'You are much like your mother, do you know that?'. It gave me a shock, because I trusted him and this was not something I liked to hear. I had always been told how much I looked like my father and outwardly that was certainly true. For me that had always been a comforting thought. Our doctor knew all of us very well, and his remark set me thinking. From then on I (sometimes) looked at my mother with the question in mind of what we might have in common. I did not recognize anything but the question stuck in my mind. It took at least another fifteen years before I realized we had a particular experience in common. In those years I had become conscious of my grief about the death of my father whom I had missed very much in the difficult years which followed. Only then did I realize that mother had also lost her father at an early age. She was not even six when my grandfather died. Her mother also had to take over her husband's tasks, her mother never even had had time to play with her children, her mother sent her and her sisters to boarding-school. Yes, we had something in common. Bit by bit I began to understand why she was the person she was, but admit that I would resemble her? That would take some time.
In the time when my parents grew up every healthy person was (still) supposed to marry and have children. That does not mean that they would not have problems with it emotionally. I know that it took mother many years, after the birth of her first child, before she got used to the consequences of her motherhood. Only after some ten years did the feeling of being seriously confined decrease, she told me later. It looked as if her being proud of us served as compensation for the limitations she experienced.
These matters, of course, were at that time no subject for discussion. I sensed these
things and drew the conclusion that before you married you ought to know what consequences
parenthood would bring. My mother - properly speaking no more than my father - seemed to
have had no notion of what she was embarking on in that respect. As far as I am concerned:
at that time I did not even know how to use my emotional and social skills, let alone that
I would know how to bring up children. I had always liked to go to school but, looking
back, I consider not having been taught these skills a major shortcoming in my education.
All in all, I thought it best to have no children of my own. I loved children - in my
detached way - very much and couldn't burden them with having me as their mother! This was
decided when I was a full eighteen years old. I left it to my brothers and sister to
contribute to the development of humankind in passing on our parents' genes. My
contribution to evolution would turn out to lie in the field of ideas and of culture, to
be a brainchild.
The story in review
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Concise descriptions relevant to the story
Terms and symbols
|As this is about mothers and children the tools which are especially
involved here must be brought up for discussion. These capacities are primarily signified
by the Moon, Jupiter and Mercury. Furthermore, taking a standpoint and making a decision,
however naive they may be, is the case here. For this we also have to look at the
Ascendant in my case.
On previous occasions the Moon and the Ascendant have come up for
extensive discussion, so this time a short summing up will suffice.
Click for the birth chart
|I'll initially approach the world, using the Ascendant and the tools in
the first phase of the pattern of beginning, in a concise and practical manner.
||In the first phase, more than ten degrees from the Ascendant in Scorpio,
|As much as the manner of beginning is visible for the surroundings, so
can other capacities be clearly noticeable, if there are connections with them. These
capacities usually develop according to their own patterns.
||Aspects with planets add the qualities of the planet involved to the
|A pattern owes its personal character, in addition to aspects or dynamic relations between the planets themselves, to the relations between the phases. The twelve types of patterns are treated in the pattern-line and also illustrated there with examples. In my pattern of beginning the above-mentioned three planets are related with two other phases in an unending shift of perspective.||
Click for the birth chart
via the capacities for communication and interaction, the fourth phase. This proceeds
to initiatives for coping with insights, goes on working practically with alternative
solutions and back again to the unique perceptions at the basis. That can go on, in the
background and internally, without end.
The movement from 12 to 4, forward to 6 and back again to the 12th phase continues
until it is broken by something other.
|The described movement is being fed from three other phases:
||The supply to the 4th phase runs via even more lines:
How do I deal with these things now? I look to touch the social context before I have questions
I do not doubt that our qualities are passed on via the genes. I do not doubt that
parents, peers and the 'zeitgeist' exercise influence on our development. The discussion
as to which of these factors are of greater importance or contribute more to the
development of a child will be of theoretical importance for scientists. I am, in
practice, more interested in the matter of supply and demand. On the one hand there is a
personal need for experiences, while on the other hand the environment can offer a certain
range of phenomena. The experiences offered perhaps do not match the needs. As a parent or
educator one's responsibility demands that you provide for an appropriate supply of
possibilities. I think it is clear that, dependent on the capacities and needs which lie
anchored in the genes, what is usable in the supply will be accepted and what is lacking
shall have to be found elsewhere.
Only later did I take the level of education that I had wished for as a teenager. [ note ]
Thus I consider myself an experience expert. Would I have received the education I
wished for earlier in life, then I would have learned many useful things perhaps much
later or not at all. I can't imagine that anything in what I have learned is not
functional for me.
I have made - among other things about education and work - both well-founded and
ill-founded decisions. I take responsibility for all of them, including choices which I
made unconsciously, including the decisions determined for me by other people. For me this
mental freedom is of fundamental value. After all, decisions made in freedom and
well-considered are not better than other ones only for that reason, are they?